Its...

Bolty's Desk!







Okay, continuing the trend in desk reviews, here she blows:

A  packet  of  tesco's  economy plain chocolate digestives.  An 18" long
packet of chocky bickies for 98p.  Essential!


[I  prefer  the  64p  bourbon  double-barrel packet from Tesco's meself.
Kei]


A  peecee minus case, due to Win95 completely spagging up again.  I love
peecees I do!

The side off my peecee.  A 50x50cm lump of sheet metal leant against the
wall.   I  aint  got one of these tacky little mini towers, its a proper
case it is.  All the sides slide off in bits and that!

Lots of peecee screws.

My favourite reversible philips/flat head screwdriver.

A  100 meg quantum hard drive.  Used for backups, I got this for £2 at a
local pooty shop.  Assorted HDs, £2 each, or 3 for a fiver!

My  mates  300  meg  hd  which  I  killed and haven't told him about yet
(gulp!)  I mounted it using the precision method of dangling it from its
power  cable.  It was working fine until it went "clunk".  I presume the
heads hit the disk from the way it jerked violently as it dangled.

My pride and joy, a 15" Iiyama monitor.  After spending 4 years watching
my  amiga  through the RF socket on a 14" alba telly, you should be able
to  appreciate why I want sex with my monitor, and why I will hit anyone
who puts so much as a finger print on the screen.

Lots  of  black  labeless  disks.  I don't know what's on em.  Some have
been scribbled on in yellow pencil crayon.

Er  there's  my  windows  desktop.  Probably an acquired taste, it has a
rich  blue  background  textured  with  blurry letters, and post-it note
style icon captions in pale yellow.

The  instructions  from  my roller blades.  Includes such gems as "don't
skate  on  oil, you might fall over" and "skating on main roads could be
dangerous".   Nowhere  does  it say "Don't skate down steep hills as the
only  way of stopping at the bottom by the time you're doing 30mph is to
throw  yourself  on  the  floor,  inflicting  massive  gravel rash" as I
discovered for myself the hard way.

A prit stick. Dunno why. Its crap at sticking stuff.

A  surprisingly  cool looking sound card driver cd, to go with my £15.99
sound card.

Various night club flyers.

A black Rotring "Art Pen", chewed.

A knackered, matte black, metal cased, parker biro.

An empty packet of cheese and onion square crisps

A  compaq mouse.  You know the ones, two buttons, square corners, with a
curved rectangular slab on top to stick yer hand on.

A sheet of A4 paper taped to the desk for a mouse mat.  I haven't had to
clean my mouse in 6 months using this!  Its a miracle!

Scattered zip disks and cases.

A nearly empty bog roll.  What could that be used for eh?

Sketches and notes for the new TW15 download page which I've just done..

A mug containing a very dodgy looking seedling :)

A taped copy of Enigma's "MCMXC a.d."

A  stack  of  miscellaneous  cds,  on  the  verge of toppling over.  The
Chemical Brother's "Dig Your Own Hole" is on top.

One  receipt  from  Tescos  as  follows:  Smiths Snacks, GW Snacks, Choc
Digestive,  Pork Chops, Beef mince, Penguin, Bacon Rashers, Prawn Curry,
Kia-Ora  Orange, The Times, Pasta Sauce x 2, Chicken Soup, Spghti/hoops,
Farmhouse Loaf = £15.38

A  bottle  of  surgical  spirits.  Smells of hospitals and cleans sticky
stuff of things.

A   casio   graphical   calculator,  complete  with  "BoltBrot"  fractal
generator,   "BoltPaint"   paint  package,  "BoltGolf"  golf  game,  and
Minesweeper which I got of the internet and typed in.

JVC  Mini System Jobby.  Got this after Currys spent 4 months completely
failing to repair my tinny Aiwa Micro job.  Its a lot louder :)

AM Loop ariel, for listening to Talk Radio.

FM  ariel, a 5 meter long speaker wire which hangs out of my (4th story)
window.   Even then I can only just pick up Radio 1 and "Plymouth Sound"
(cack).

Letter  from the bank telling me to pick up a new bank card.  I can't be
arsed.

WinTV manual. Looks home made, complete with comb binder.

Completed  questionnaire  from  a  research  student  about  my brand of
toothpaste,  jeans  and  bank.   Question 1a cracked me up:  "Do you use
toothpaste?  If no, go to question 2"


end